AMP - Power of Integrity
Have You Ever...
Felt like you needed APPROVAL from a Woman... and felt humiliated and powerless as a result?
Felt that women just didn't TRUST you?
Known that it was time for you to 'take the lead' with her, but didn't know what to do or say next?
'Stalled out' or felt afraid when it was time to get sexual with a woman?
Felt so unsure of what to say or do with a woman that you didn't do anything out of fear of making her 'feel uncomfortable'?
Felt that critical gaze that had you instantly know you just weren't 'passing the test'?
Wanted to approach a beautiful woman but felt so shaky inside that you lost the courage? (This one is particularly excruciating, because if you're anything like me, you're kicking yourself for hours, sometimes days afterwards...)
Knew that it was the 'now or never' time to express your desire, get her phone number, ask her out, go in for the kiss, or take things sexual, but you got nervous, unsure, hesitated, and lost her forever?
Felt that unworthy feeling that comes with feeling 'off track' in your life or career, and just somehow knew it was connected to your challenges with women?
Well, guess what?
Believe it or not, when you really trace it down,
These All Stem From the SAME DAMN PROBLEM...
A Lack of Integrity.
I know about this because I've been there. It used to be that no matter what I did in an interaction with a woman, I would inevitably feel her slipping away: and it KEPT HAPPENING time after time.
One of the most excruciating moments for me was when I finally did manage to have a girl that I really liked over to my house for a date: I was soo excited, but when she met Decker (my housemate at the time), she instantly fell for HIM, instead of me. Gahhh!
As I explored this further, I realized that the source of the problem was that every interaction I had with women had a slimy, 'approval-seeking' feel to it.
In fact, the only women who WERE continually attracted to me were those who were seeking validation too! It was like a 'you make me feel good about myself, and I'll make YOU feel good about yourself' agreement, and it was a house of cards - no REAL intimacy, because, on some level, we were both pretending to like each other. And the real truth is that we were just using each other. And, on some level, we could both feel it... NOT inspiring at all.
The most radiant, gorgeous women that I REALLY wanted to be with would have nothing to do with me. And after getting the same feedback from several women and even my close friends, I finally had to admit, that
I Had Become A 'Validation Crack-Pipe' Junkie With Women
I desperately wanted women to like me, find me attractive, and 'stick around' with me. And I began to realize that THAT was the problem! Like most men, I was absolutely killing the potential of any sustainable attraction and healthy relationship.
I wanted to finally shed this skin of insecurity and approval-seeking, once and for all.
So I tried everything... and I mean EVERYTHING to purge myself of this neediness. This is embarrassing to share, but at my most desperate, I even tried to desensitize myself to people's approval by pretending to be a monkey on the San Francisco MUNI trains, swinging from the sway bars and howling like an orangutan.
Didn't work. And I was out of ideas.
God, I was SO SICK of chasing after fleeting hits of validation, SCRAPPING for women's attention and energy in order for me to feel good about myself. I realized I would rather not be with any woman at all than to feel THIS DESPERATE. I was hooked, I was a Junkie, and I needed to UNPLUG. I needed to go COLD TURKEY.
So, at my wit's end...
I Committed Myself to 'Approval-Seeking Rehab'
I fiercely committed to myself and to my friends to STOP SEEKING feminine attention and approval, PERIOD. I would have to find my sense of fulfillment and love for life ELSEWHERE, INDEPENDENT of women. Women were no longer an option.
This was scary as hell for me, and painful at first. It felt like I was STARVING, and I noticed a tendency to COLLAPSE into eating chocolate, watching movies, playing video games, ANYTHING to avoid feeling this sense of DEPRIVATION.
This practice FORCED ME to cultivate an appreciation of myself and my life, REGARDLESS of whether there was ever a woman in my life again. Now, you might think this is extreme, but for me, this is what it took for me to DISCONNECT from this old pattern.
And as I remained AWARE (Power of Presence), WELCOMING those sensations (Power of Appreciation), without REACTING to them (Power of Integrity), I started to realize...
I Had Discovered the 'Magic Formula' to Eradicate Approval-Seeking Behavior... forever.
Rather than looking on the OUTSIDE for fulfillment, for the first time, I started getting this need met from the INSIDE. It wasn't easy, and I often found myself slipping back.
But over time, by not falling back into my old patterns of desperate validation-seeking, (Collapsing) and by not avoiding feeling the desire for approval (Posturing), and just feeling those intense sensations, I was beginning to cultivate an UNSHAKABLE sense of STRENGTH, POWER and WHOLENESS inside.
It was as if I had started to learn how to do muscular strength training... BUT FOR MY INTERNAL self.
The 'Big 3'-- Presence, Appreciation and Integrity began to open new doors for my relationships with women:
Have You Ever...
Felt like you needed APPROVAL from a Woman... and felt humiliated and powerless as a result?
Felt that women just didn't TRUST you?
Known that it was time for you to 'take the lead' with her, but didn't know what to do or say next?
'Stalled out' or felt afraid when it was time to get sexual with a woman?
Felt so unsure of what to say or do with a woman that you didn't do anything out of fear of making her 'feel uncomfortable'?
Felt that critical gaze that had you instantly know you just weren't 'passing the test'?
Wanted to approach a beautiful woman but felt so shaky inside that you lost the courage? (This one is particularly excruciating, because if you're anything like me, you're kicking yourself for hours, sometimes days afterwards...)
Knew that it was the 'now or never' time to express your desire, get her phone number, ask her out, go in for the kiss, or take things sexual, but you got nervous, unsure, hesitated, and lost her forever?
Felt that unworthy feeling that comes with feeling 'off track' in your life or career, and just somehow knew it was connected to your challenges with women?
Well, guess what?
Believe it or not, when you really trace it down,
These All Stem From the SAME DAMN PROBLEM...
A Lack of Integrity.
I know about this because I've been there. It used to be that no matter what I did in an interaction with a woman, I would inevitably feel her slipping away: and it KEPT HAPPENING time after time.
One of the most excruciating moments for me was when I finally did manage to have a girl that I really liked over to my house for a date: I was soo excited, but when she met Decker (my housemate at the time), she instantly fell for HIM, instead of me. Gahhh!
As I explored this further, I realized that the source of the problem was that every interaction I had with women had a slimy, 'approval-seeking' feel to it.
In fact, the only women who WERE continually attracted to me were those who were seeking validation too! It was like a 'you make me feel good about myself, and I'll make YOU feel good about yourself' agreement, and it was a house of cards - no REAL intimacy, because, on some level, we were both pretending to like each other. And the real truth is that we were just using each other. And, on some level, we could both feel it... NOT inspiring at all.
The most radiant, gorgeous women that I REALLY wanted to be with would have nothing to do with me. And after getting the same feedback from several women and even my close friends, I finally had to admit, that
I Had Become A 'Validation Crack-Pipe' Junkie With Women
I desperately wanted women to like me, find me attractive, and 'stick around' with me. And I began to realize that THAT was the problem! Like most men, I was absolutely killing the potential of any sustainable attraction and healthy relationship.
I wanted to finally shed this skin of insecurity and approval-seeking, once and for all.
So I tried everything... and I mean EVERYTHING to purge myself of this neediness. This is embarrassing to share, but at my most desperate, I even tried to desensitize myself to people's approval by pretending to be a monkey on the San Francisco MUNI trains, swinging from the sway bars and howling like an orangutan.
Didn't work. And I was out of ideas.
God, I was SO SICK of chasing after fleeting hits of validation, SCRAPPING for women's attention and energy in order for me to feel good about myself. I realized I would rather not be with any woman at all than to feel THIS DESPERATE. I was hooked, I was a Junkie, and I needed to UNPLUG. I needed to go COLD TURKEY.
So, at my wit's end...
I Committed Myself to 'Approval-Seeking Rehab'
I fiercely committed to myself and to my friends to STOP SEEKING feminine attention and approval, PERIOD. I would have to find my sense of fulfillment and love for life ELSEWHERE, INDEPENDENT of women. Women were no longer an option.
This was scary as hell for me, and painful at first. It felt like I was STARVING, and I noticed a tendency to COLLAPSE into eating chocolate, watching movies, playing video games, ANYTHING to avoid feeling this sense of DEPRIVATION.
This practice FORCED ME to cultivate an appreciation of myself and my life, REGARDLESS of whether there was ever a woman in my life again. Now, you might think this is extreme, but for me, this is what it took for me to DISCONNECT from this old pattern.
And as I remained AWARE (Power of Presence), WELCOMING those sensations (Power of Appreciation), without REACTING to them (Power of Integrity), I started to realize...
I Had Discovered the 'Magic Formula' to Eradicate Approval-Seeking Behavior... forever.
Rather than looking on the OUTSIDE for fulfillment, for the first time, I started getting this need met from the INSIDE. It wasn't easy, and I often found myself slipping back.
But over time, by not falling back into my old patterns of desperate validation-seeking, (Collapsing) and by not avoiding feeling the desire for approval (Posturing), and just feeling those intense sensations, I was beginning to cultivate an UNSHAKABLE sense of STRENGTH, POWER and WHOLENESS inside.
It was as if I had started to learn how to do muscular strength training... BUT FOR MY INTERNAL self.
The 'Big 3'-- Presence, Appreciation and Integrity began to open new doors for my relationships with women:
Code:
http://filepost.com/files/95c7e873/AMPOI.zip/
http://filepost.com/files/maa5dd5m/AMPOI.z01/